What is AuDHD?
- AuDHD is a community term for being both autistic and having ADHD. It isn't a separate formal diagnosis.
- Autism affects how people communicate, experience the senses and handle change.
- ADHD affects attention, energy and impulses.
- Many people are only recognised in adulthood, because the traits can hide each other.
Common experiences
- Sensory differences, such as noise, light or clothing feeling too much
- Intense focus on specific interests
- Strong reactions to feeling rejected or criticised
- Difficulty planning, starting and switching tasks
- Sleep problems
- Emotions that feel big and hard to calm down
Pulled in two directions
Autism often pushes towards routine and predictability. ADHD often pushes towards novelty and stimulation. Together, that can feel like:
- Being easily overwhelmed, but feeling unable to slow down and recharge
- Needing a routine, then getting bored of it
- Hyperfocusing on one thing, while everything else gets forgotten
How it can show up in adult life
- Masking: copying what others do to fit in, which is exhausting.
- Social drain: needing time alone after meetings or events.
- Burnout: long-lasting exhaustion, where things you used to manage become hard.
- Work: great in areas of deep interest, stuck on admin and change.
Getting assessed in the UK
- Start by speaking to your GP.
- NICE guidance says autism assessments should consider ADHD too.
- You don't need a diagnosis to try the tips on this site, or to work with me.
The three main parts
Inattention
- Losing focus, for example halfway through a form
- Missing deadlines
- Forgetting bills, calls or appointments
- Losing keys, wallet or phone
- Struggling to keep things organised
Hyperactivity
- Feeling restless, even when sitting still
- Fidgeting or tapping
- A busy mind that won't switch off
- Finding quiet activities hard
Impulsivity
- Acting or speaking before thinking
- Interrupting people
- Snap decisions, including spending
- Finding it hard to wait
The three types
- Mostly inattentive: mainly focus and organisation problems.
- Mostly hyperactive and impulsive: mainly restlessness and acting on impulse.
- Combined: a mix of both.
How it can show up in adult life
- Work: starting lots of projects, finishing few, and doing everything at the last minute.
- Money: late payments, forgotten invoices and impulse spending.
- Relationships: forgetting what you promised, which can look like not caring.
- Sleep: very common. Up to 70% of adults with ADHD have sleep problems.
In adults, problems with attention often stay, while obvious hyperactivity tends to calm down and show up more as inner restlessness.
What ADHD is not
- It's not laziness.
- It's not a lack of intelligence.
- It's not a lack of willpower.
How diagnosis works in the UK
- Start by speaking to your GP.
- An assessment is done by a specialist.
- The symptoms need to have started in childhood, so you may be asked about school or to involve someone who knew you then.
- You don't need a diagnosis to try the tips on this site, or to work with me.
What is ODD?
- ODD stands for oppositional defiant disorder.
- It's a pattern of angry or irritable mood, arguing, defiance and sometimes spitefulness.
- It has to last at least six months.
Common signs
- Losing your temper often
- Feeling easily annoyed or resentful
- Arguing with people in authority, such as a boss
- Refusing rules or requests on purpose
- Blaming others for your own mistakes
ODD in adults
- It's usually diagnosed in childhood, and often improves by adulthood.
- It can continue, and can affect work and relationships.
- It's much less often diagnosed in adults.
- It's common alongside ADHD.
ODD or demand avoidance?
Refusing requests isn't always ODD. Some people, especially with ADHD or autism, avoid demands because they feel anxious or overwhelmed, not because they're angry or defiant. The behaviour can look the same from the outside, but the cause and what helps are different.
The quick version
ADHD is mainly about attention and impulses. It often sounds like: "I forgot" or "I got distracted".
AuDHD means being autistic and having ADHD. It often sounds like: "I need routine, but I get bored of it" or "I'm overwhelmed, but I can't slow down".
ODD is mainly about mood and defiance. It often sounds like: "I won't".
This is a simplified way to think about it. Life is messier than that, and only a professional can diagnose any of them.
Side by side
| ADHD | AuDHD | ODD | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Main difficulty | Attention, restlessness and impulses | ADHD traits plus autistic differences in communication, senses and change | Anger, irritability and defiance |
| Routine and change | Craves novelty, gets bored easily | Needs routine, but also craves novelty, which pulls both ways | Resists rules set by other people |
| Rules and requests | Often broken by accident: forgotten or not noticed | Can be missed through distraction, or feel overwhelming if unclear | Often refused on purpose |
| Social life | May interrupt, overshare or lose track of conversations | Social cues can be hard to read, and socialising can be exhausting | Frequent arguments, especially with people in authority |
| Senses | Can get overstimulated | Often strong sensitivity to noise, light, touch or smells | Not a core feature |
| When overwhelmed | Anger can flare up quickly, then pass | Can lead to shutdown, meltdown or burnout | Anger lasts longer and can include resentment |
| Usually identified | Childhood, but often not until adulthood | Often not until adulthood | Childhood |
Examples: what they can look like
A deadline at work
You mean to start early. You get distracted, realise the night before, rush it and feel bad.
You want it done perfectly, so you can't start. Then you hyperfocus for hours and forget to eat.
You resent being given the deadline, argue about it, and leave it late on purpose.
Your partner asks you to do the washing up
You say yes and fully mean it, then forget an hour later.
You were deep in something. Being pulled away suddenly feels overwhelming, so it doesn't happen.
You refuse, or start an argument about being told what to do.
A letter from HMRC
It sits unopened in a pile, and the penalty grows.
It feels unclear and overwhelming, so you avoid it, and then worry about it constantly.
You're angry at being chased, and refuse to deal with it on principle.
A client gives you critical feedback
It stings. You might react quickly, then calm down and move on.
It feels crushing. You replay it for days and struggle to let it go.
You hold a grudge, and look for a way to get back at them.
A busy networking event
You talk to everyone, jump between conversations, and leave with lots of ideas but no follow-up.
You work hard to fit in, then feel completely drained and need time alone afterwards.
You resent being expected to be there, and make that obvious.
They often overlap
- Autism and ADHD often happen together. Estimates of how often vary a lot between studies.
- ODD is also common alongside ADHD.
- Having one doesn't mean you have the others.
- In the UK, NICE guidance says autism assessments should consider ADHD too.
Living with someone who has ADHD?
Knowing whether someone "won't", "forgot" or "is overwhelmed" changes how you respond. If there's a man with ADHD in your life and you'd like help working with him, message me.
Please note: this page is general information, not medical advice. I'm a coach, not a doctor. I coach adults with ADHD and AuDHD, but I don't diagnose ADHD, autism or ODD. If you're worried about yourself or a child, speak to your GP.
Sources: NHS, NICE, Autistica, the American Psychiatric Association, the US National Institute of Mental Health, the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria, and published research.